Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.
  • If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.
  • Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.
  • You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.
  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.