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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,028

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Going viral on Slack:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Seen just now on X:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Trending via Slack:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

2 months ago

0

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail

big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

0

2 months ago

alone, awake, better, beverage, caffeine, coffee, humor, just, morning, only, solitude
I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

0

2 months ago

card, credit, credit card, debt, finance, humor, irresponsibly, joke, money, spending, used
They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

0

5 months ago

anyone, appropriation, cultural, cultural appropriation, culture, dog, else, gender, gender reveal, got, humor, i, invited, joke, just, own, party, people, reveal, say, white, white culture
Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad hair day, day, due, frustration, hair, humidity, humor, violence, weather
Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, brag, childhood, doll, humor, naked, playtime, toy
At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

0

5 months ago

appointment, being, booing, call, doctor, doctor office, doctors, humor, mine, name, name call, names, office, patient, room, waiting, waiting room

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

69 but we both just farting.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Spotted on WeChat:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Live now on Facebook:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Just shared via Messenger:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

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