Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Just landed via Facebook:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Shared recently on Slack:

Time needs a speed limit.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Trending via X:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

1 month ago

Playful quote about poor poker skills and eyes turning into dollar signs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail

big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Just shared via WeChat:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Spotted on YouTube:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Trending via Facebook:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Spreading quickly via X:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

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