Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Making waves on Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Seen just now on Threads:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Going viral on Instagram:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Broadcasted on X:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Breaking via Twitch:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about laziness and affection for the couch, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you can sculpt your couch to perfection? 💪🛋️ #CouchPotatoGoals"

comfort, couch, give, humor, i, just, lazy, love, relax, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Seen just now on X:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Spotted on WeChat:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Breaking via Twitch:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Keep the laugh going 😂

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨