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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Trending via Discord:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Going viral on Twitch:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Just shared via Instagram:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Just landed via TikTok:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Live now on Discord:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a gym membership when you can sculpt your couch to perfection? 💪🛋️ #CouchPotatoGoals"

comfort, couch, give, humor, i, just, lazy, love, relax, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

2 months ago

absurdity, back, beauty, Botox, grape, humor, joke, raisin, transformation, turn
Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

3 months ago

autocomplete, disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, movie, name, Netflix, streaming, technology, tell, typing
Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

2 months ago

annoying, conversation, God, humor, interaction, me, oh, response, sarcasm, ugh, wit, yes
Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, kids, mess, mirror, nice, over, shame, toothpaste
For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

2 months ago

alone, amount, clam, feel, food, food humor, funny observation, humor, i, just, leave, leave alone, meat, observation, seafood
Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

3 months ago

class, depression, ever, gone, i, just, regret, relatable, school, skip, skip class, student

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Discord this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

85 shares on Threads this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

66 shares on Discord this month:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

25 shares on Twitch this month:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Making waves on Slack:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Just shared via Discord:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Going viral on Threads:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨