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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old โ€” you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I canโ€™t go anywhere.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Going viral on Discord:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Making waves on Telegram:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Shared recently on Slack:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot โ€” and then boom, itโ€™s a motorcycle.

Making waves on X:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: โ€œBuilt in Antennaโ€. I donโ€™t even know where that is.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Making waves on Twitch:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Making waves on Telegram:

Itโ€™s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyoneโ€™s ever said.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Grumpy by day, happy by dream!' ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜  Keep sleeping, friend, it's clearly your happy place! ๐Ÿ’ค๐Ÿ˜„"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Iโ€™m sorry, but when you call me โ€˜batshit crazyโ€™ itโ€™s almost starting to sound like you think itโ€™s a bad thing!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I donโ€™t. I just need money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

โ€œYouโ€™re a psychopath!โ€ At least Iโ€™m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Just landed via Threads:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you pick a movie thatโ€™s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Trending via Instagram:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Shared recently on X:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Spreading quickly via X:

If I was Snow White, you wouldnโ€™t get me with an apple. Youโ€™d have to poison a taco or something.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Making waves on TikTok:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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