Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Just landed via WeChat:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Making waves on Instagram:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'Grumpy by day, happy by dream!' 😴😠 Keep sleeping, friend, it's clearly your happy place! 💤😄"

awake, grumpy, humor, mood, only, sarcasm, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

0

2 months ago

fun, give, humor, joy, motivation, perseverance, positivity, silly
Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

0

2 months ago

able, actors, black, black and white, danger, driving, film, film history, green, history, humor, light, movy, red, tell, traffic, traffic light, white
You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, chance, chase, dog, getting, humor, joke, me, playful, playful threat, sarcasm, threat
Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

0

2 months ago

harmonica, hear, humor, instrument, joke, music, people, playful, quirky, spit
The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, AI, AI response, being, ChatGPT, conversation, dumb, dumb person, dumbest, humor, know, person, response, right, sarcasm, told
4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

0

2 months ago

4, chasing, clout, exaggeration, humor, joke, media, row, sneeze, social, social media, wrap

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

43 shares on X this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

69 shares on X this month:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Just landed via Twitch:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨