Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sounds like someone's friend might need more than just thoughts and prayers 🤣🔥 Maybe they should consult with a professional in 'excessive arousal management' 😏 #HornyButHealthy"

asking, die, friend, horniness, humor, joke, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

2 months ago

crazy, mindset, person, perspective, think, thinking, understand, understanding
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

2 months ago

arrogance, deception, dishonesty, dumb, frustration, hate, i, insult, liar, sarcasm, thing, trust
Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

2 months ago

anything, communication, confidence, honesty, honesty in communication, humor, humor about speech, i, intelligent, let, me, personality, say, self-awareness, sometimes, speech, stop
I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

4 months ago

animal, away, beef, bring, cat, cat food, cow, ego, food, house, humor, i, kind, need, pet, point, stay
If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

2 months ago

back, bring, comedy, dire, dire wolf, humor, macdonald, norm, Norm Macdonald, nostalgia, resurrection, wolf

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

90 shares on X this month:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

99 shares on Discord this month:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

43 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

90 shares on X this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

28 shares on Threads this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Making waves on Instagram:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Trending via Threads:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Seen just now on Threads:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Trending via Threads:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Just shared via Facebook:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Just landed via Threads:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨