Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Happy new fear!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Going viral on Twitch:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Breaking via WeChat:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Making waves on YouTube:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yes, let's bring empathy back like it's a retro fashion trend! 🕺🧡👖 #EmpathyIsTheNewBlack"

basic, comeback, compassion, empathy, human, humor, kindness, social, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

0

2 months ago

connection, friends, fun, homes, i, secret, tunnels, underground, wish
My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

0

2 months ago

apnea, diagnosis, health, humor, irony, meeting, sleep, sleep apnea, staff, staff meeting, workplace
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

0

2 months ago

arm, arms, design, giving, humor, idiot, idiots, only, robot, robots, technology
In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

0

3 days ago

academic, emotional, emotionally, financial, life, struggle, student, student life, three, university
They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

0

2 months ago

art, friend, funny idea, humor, idea, jeff, park, people, public, public art, regular, regular people, should, statue, through, walking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

13 shares on Slack this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

68 shares on X this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

100 shares on X this month:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Spotted on Discord:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Live now on X:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on Telegram:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨