Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Freshly posted on X:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Just landed via YouTube:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Making waves on Reddit:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Making waves on Instagram:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Live now on Facebook:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Making waves on Facebook:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yes, let's bring empathy back like it's a retro fashion trend! 🕺🧡👖 #EmpathyIsTheNewBlack"

basic, comeback, compassion, empathy, human, humor, kindness, social, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

0

2 months ago

dreams, humor, i, love, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, thing, think, thoughts, wake, waking, waking up
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

0

2 months ago

amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

0

2 months ago

clean, cleaning, fear, funny situation, humor, i, kids, loud, neighbors, parenting, room, situation, yelling
You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, mental, mental state, observation, personality, state, tell
Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

0

2 months ago

fine, geology, humor, patience, rocks, sarcasm, science, things, time
Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

0

2 months ago

advice, drugs, humor, illegal, illegal substance, personal, personal property, property, substance, take, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

98 shares on X this month:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Just landed via X:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Making waves on TikTok:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Going viral on YouTube:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Breaking via YouTube:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨