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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Live now on YouTube:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Making waves on Threads:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Seen just now on Discord:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Going viral on Twitch:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just shared via YouTube:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Shower beers: the sudsy solution to keep your tears company 🚿🍺😂"

beer, humor, life, low, low moment, moment, never, saving, shower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, butter, crime, drink, feeding, food, funny scenario, giving, humor, joke, nothing, peanut, peanut butter, prank, sandwich, scenario, should, someone, story, thirst, true
They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

0

2 months ago

humor, money, problems, sarcasm, solve, wealth
Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

0

5 months ago

accessory, ask, bring, doubt, every, hell, humor, husband, i, lol, man, me, men, misunderstanding, purse, relationship, scary, something, time, whole, why, women
Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

0

2 months ago

apology, attitude, gangster, humor, interaction, say, saying, saying sorry, social, social interaction, sorry, toughness
I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction
Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

0

2 months ago

carbohydrate, clever, course, drink, humor, hydrated, i, nutrition, pun, stay, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

55 shares on Discord this month:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Going viral on YouTube:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Going viral on TikTok:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Shared recently on Discord:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨