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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Just shared via Discord:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Spotted on Threads:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

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Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.
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Commentary:
It's like they've mastered the art of anti-humor! 👀 Knock knock. Who's there? You should definitely answer, because they've been knocking for what feels like eternity! 🚪😂 But hey, at least they're persistent in spreading the word, even if the punchline falls flat! 🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on X this month:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Fries, not lies.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

12 shares on Discord this month:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Just landed via X:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Spotted on WeChat:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Seen just now on Slack:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

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