Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Spotted on Twitch:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Trending via Instagram:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Live now on WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Trending via X:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Trending via Pinterest:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Live now on Discord:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Trending via Messenger:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

2 months ago

0

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mystical incantations of legal jargon! 🧙‍♂️✨ It's like lawyers are wizards casting spells with words instead of wands. 🪄 "Hear ye, hear ye, by the power vested in these terms and conditions!" 📜💼 Don't be fooled by the smoke and mirrors of legalese – it's all just wordy wizardry in a three-piece suit! 👔🔮

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

0

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, ethic, home, home chores, humor, minute, procrastination, sit, sit down, thing, work, work ethic, worst
My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

0

2 months ago

dogs, earthquakes, feel, gas, humor, pets
As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

0

3 weeks ago

cheating, childhood, Christmas, claus, family, humor, i, kid, kissing, misunderstanding, mommy, Santa, Santa Claus, saw, song, thought, understand
Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

0

2 months ago

back, break, crash, detox, digital, digital detox, life, media, needs, online, online life, perspective, reality, social, social media, social media break, social media detox, virtual, virtual world, world, year
Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

0

2 months ago

anyone, face, Face ID, humor, ID, noise, phone, sarcasm, technology, unlock
Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

0

2 months ago

cool, even, feeling, feels, humor, insurance, irony, protection, still, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

28 shares on Slack this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

36 shares on Discord this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

11 shares on Slack this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just landed via Discord:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Spotted on TikTok:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Trending via LinkedIn:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Spotted on Threads:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

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