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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Shared recently on Threads:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Going viral on Telegram:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Seen just now on Discord:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Trending via Discord:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Just landed via Slack:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Trending via Threads:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting – paying rent just to have a fancy spot for your hunger pains to throw a party 🏠💸🍽️ #LuxuryLiving"

financial, financial struggle, humor, i, just, living, living situation, paid, place, rent, situation, starve, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, day, email, every, humor, never, send, should, social, technology, tragedy, woman
Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

0

2 months ago

door, humor, just, lock, safety, somebody, thinking
I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

0

2 months ago

childhood, delivery, egging, food, food delivery, house, humor, i, life, rural, rural life, small, small town, someone, thing, town
Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

0

2 months ago

adopted, biologically, dog, humor, i, me, mine, pet, response, someone, whenever
This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

0

2 months ago

before, frustration, humor, Monday, never, repetition, weekday, workday
My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

0

5 months ago

hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Discord this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

35 shares on X this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

56 shares on Discord this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Live now on Threads:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Just landed via Instagram:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Going viral on Discord:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Seen just now on Threads:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Going viral on Facebook:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨