Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Just landed via Messenger:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Trending via Messenger:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Just landed via Discord:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just shared via Discord:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Trending via Messenger:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting – paying rent just to have a fancy spot for your hunger pains to throw a party 🏠💸🍽️ #LuxuryLiving"

financial, financial struggle, humor, i, just, living, living situation, paid, place, rent, situation, starve, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

0

2 months ago

always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

0

2 months ago

better, couch, doing, exactly, furniture, humor, judgment, knows, laziness, looking, me, personality, stop
Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

0

2 months ago

daffodil, flower, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, sounds, wordplay
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

0

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking
Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

0

2 months ago

comparison, errors, haystack, humor, life, longer, modern, modern life, needle, people, search, spreadsheet, technology, work
How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

0

1 week ago

funny question, glasses, humor, i, prescription, question, vision, windshield

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Slack this month:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Making waves on Discord:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Going viral on Twitch:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Making waves on Discord:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨