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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Trending via Twitch:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Live now on Threads:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Going viral on Messenger:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting – paying rent just to have a fancy spot for your hunger pains to throw a party 🏠💸🍽️ #LuxuryLiving"

financial, financial struggle, humor, i, just, living, living situation, paid, place, rent, situation, starve, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

0

2 months ago

dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank
After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

0

3 weeks ago

after, Christmas, everyone, finance, finances, forehead, forehead kiss, gift, going, happy, holiday, humor, kiss, money, quick, review
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

0

2 months ago

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth
Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

0

2 months ago

attitude, casual, confidence, here, humor, i, late, lateness, punctuality, sarcasm, sorry, wanted
If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

0

2 months ago

again, close, door, doors, humor, just, logic, open, work
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

0

2 months ago

activity, energy, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, me, motivation, need, pyramid, pyramid scheme, scheme, sounds

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

52 shares on Threads this month:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

31 shares on Threads this month:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Trending via Snapchat:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Spotted on Threads:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Just shared via Slack:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Just landed via WeChat:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨