Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

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Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

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My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

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You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

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Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

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My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

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Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

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Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

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Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

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But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

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Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.