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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

2 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Just shared via Messenger:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Spotted on X:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Breaking via TikTok:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Trending via Discord:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Spotted on Twitch:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Jan 20, 2025

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, can you imagine the drama and excitement in the courtroom if lawyers strutted in to their own walk-up songs like wrestlers do? 💼🎵 "Here comes the Judge" playing for intense moments and "Smooth Criminal" for smooth-talking attorneys. Just don't let them slam the gavel too dramatically! ⚖️🎶 #LegalShowdown

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

2 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Breaking via X:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Just landed via Messenger:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Making waves on Threads:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Going viral on TikTok:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

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