Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Trending via TikTok:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Spotted on YouTube:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

0
Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, can you imagine the drama and excitement in the courtroom if lawyers strutted in to their own walk-up songs like wrestlers do? 💼🎵 "Here comes the Judge" playing for intense moments and "Smooth Criminal" for smooth-talking attorneys. Just don't let them slam the gavel too dramatically! ⚖️🎶 #LegalShowdown

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

95 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

37 shares on Discord this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Live now on Facebook:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Shared recently on Threads:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Going viral on Twitch:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spotted on Twitch:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Live now on Messenger:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴