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Commentary:
"Just like how I can't reach the last slice of pizza in the box, but clearly, I don't need it…🍕🚫 Lazy Rule at its finest! Who needs things that require stretchy effort anyway, right? 😂 #LazyLife"

effort, humor, lazy, need, philosophy, procrastination, reach, rule

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

0

6 months ago

anything, apathy, attitude, care, decision, good, humor, i, indifference, just, news, sarcasm
Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

0

2 months ago

again, airport, arrival, being, early, early arrival, flight, frustration, hours, humor, i, management, minutes, once, only, scam, security, take, time, time management, travel
If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

0

2 months ago

answer, funny response, give, giving, humor, joke, lightheartedness, me, playful, playful threat, question, response, serious, serious answer, silly, silly question, threat, wedgie
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

0

5 months ago

evil, humor, joke, math, number, pun, root
You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

0

2 months ago

efficiency, good, good thing, humor, irony, management, multitask, productivity, say, task, task management, thing
A Monday every week is excessive.

0

2 months ago

every, excessive, humor, Monday, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

58 shares on X this month:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Spotted on WeChat:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Just landed via Twitch:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Just shared via Facebook:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Spotted on X:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Shared recently on Threads:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

A Monday every week is excessive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨