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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Making waves on Reddit:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Seen just now on Threads:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Breaking via TikTok:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Broadcasted on X:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Spotted on Reddit:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Jan 20, 2025

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive quest for solitude and mental preparation in the wee hours of the morning – the ultimate life hack for introverts and morning birds alike! 🌅☕️ Just don't hit the snooze button too many times, or you might run out of hours to prep and end up diving headfirst into the chaos! ⏰😅 #MorningMentor #AloneTimeAlchemist"

12, alone, alone time, day, hack, hours, life, life hack, mental, mental preparation, mentally, morning, morning routine, personal, personal time, preparation, productivity, routine, self-care, time, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spotted on Facebook:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Spotted on YouTube:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Trending via Threads:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Making waves on Threads:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

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