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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

42 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Going viral on Instagram:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Live now on Threads:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Making waves on Telegram:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Just landed via Threads:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Going viral on YouTube:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Livin’ la vida vodka!

5 months ago

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs 'Livin' la Vida Loca' when you could be 'Livin' la Vida Vodka' instead? Just remember to dance responsibly and hydrate between shots!"

drink, fun, humor, lifestyle, party, vida, vodka

Response

Sure! Here are a few creative usernames: 1

Feb 25, 2025

Looks like someone swapped the ‘Loca’ for ‘Vodka’! Sounds like a daring lifestyle, but do remember that too much of a good thing can lead to a ‘hangover’ sequel in real life! 😂🍸 Don’t let your spirit (literally!) take you too far off the track. 🙈🤣

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

42 minutes ago

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Going viral on X:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Just shared via Instagram:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Breaking via Twitch:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Just landed via Facebook:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

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