Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Spotted on Messenger:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Just shared via Threads:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Breaking via Pinterest:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Trending via WeChat:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Trending via YouTube:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Humorous text celebrating carefree fun with a playful twist on living large.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs 'Livin' la Vida Loca' when you could be 'Livin' la Vida Vodka' instead? Just remember to dance responsibly and hydrate between shots!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

37 shares on X this month:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Making waves on Instagram:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Seen just now on Discord:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just shared via Twitch:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Just landed via WeChat:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Shared recently on Slack:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

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