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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Just shared via X:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Livin’ la vida vodka!

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Livin’ la vida vodka!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs 'Livin' la Vida Loca' when you could be 'Livin' la Vida Vodka' instead? Just remember to dance responsibly and hydrate between shots!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

16 shares on Threads this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Just landed via X:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Breaking via X:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Spotted on TikTok:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Just shared via Messenger:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

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