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Commentary:
"Looks like someone missed the memo on the whole 'free pass to heaven' deal… 💸🙏 Maybe they should have read the fine print! 😂 #HeavenlyFinances"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

0

5 months ago

child, crypto, explaining, explanation, friend, humor, i, imaginary, imaginary friend, misunderstanding, nine-year-old, said, sell, selling, someone, sounds, tried, trying
I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

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2 months ago

around, bag, bombs, breaking, cat, chaos, everyone, glass, glass breaking, going, humor, i, inside, looking, love, me, messy, messy bag, searching, something
My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, headphones, hear, humor, i, interaction, men, move, relationship, signature, signature move, social, social interaction, tell
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

0

2 months ago

again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman
Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

0

2 months ago

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday
Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

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2 months ago

anatomy, bones, break, heart, humor, love, pain, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

45 shares on X this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Spotted on Messenger:

You are the Monday of my life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Just landed via Instagram:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Just landed via Instagram:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Seen just now on Discord:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨