Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.