Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.
  • Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.
  • If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.
  • Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?
  • Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.
  • I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.