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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Making waves on Twitch:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Spotted on X:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Just landed via Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless feud between humans and storybook wolves continues! 🐺📚 Bet that wolf wishes they had a therapist on speed dial for those lingering nightmares about you. Just imagine the therapy sessions: 'So, Mr. Wolf, tell me more about this pesky human from The Neverending Story…' 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

36 shares on X this month:

I’m sick of living through history!

68 shares on YouTube this month:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Going viral on Facebook:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Trending via Twitch:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Going viral on Telegram:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

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