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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Trending via Instagram:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Trending via TikTok:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spotted on Discord:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Meow means woof in cat.

Just landed via Snapchat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless feud between humans and storybook wolves continues! 🐺📚 Bet that wolf wishes they had a therapist on speed dial for those lingering nightmares about you. Just imagine the therapy sessions: 'So, Mr. Wolf, tell me more about this pesky human from The Neverending Story…' 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Breaking via X:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Trending via TikTok:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just landed via Facebook:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

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