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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Making waves on Reddit:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me, as a therapist: 'OMG, me too!' 🤦‍♂️ Well, at least we're all in this together! 😂 #therapistproblems"

empathy, humor, me, me too, OMG, relatability, therapist, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

0

5 months ago

better, cigarette, cigarettes, comparison, humor, life, sarcasm, year
“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

0

2 months ago

access, God, humor, i, information, investigation, irony, know, media, privacy, public, public information, resources, social, social media, stalking
Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

0

2 months ago

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress
The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, confidence, difference, fun, humor, joke, people, personality, sarcasm, us, witty
Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

0

2 months ago

activity, cardio, exercise, fun, fun activity, kids, parenting, struggle, summer, sunscreen
Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

0

2 months ago

baby, being, cry, eviction, humor, joke, newborn, parenting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

31 shares on WeChat this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Spotted on Reddit:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Live now on TikTok:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Broadcasted on X:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨