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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,748

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Going bananas on Telegram:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Going viral on Messenger:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just discovered the secret to eternal youth—stress everyone out and stay cool as a cucumber! 😎🥒

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

2 months ago

alien, aliens, being, deny, dumb, embarrassing, front, here, humor, i, intergalactic, planet, travelers
Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

2 months ago

experience, Funny, house, houses, humor, i, mine, observation, personal, personal experience, smell, talk, today, want
As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

5 months ago

complaint, digital, digital life, frustration, humor, life, simulation, sucks
Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

1 month ago

family, followers, humor, joke, kids, last, media, name, parent, parenting, should, social, social media
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

4 days ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

1 month ago

entertainment, humor, irony, leisure, much, product, self-deprecating, supervision, television, too, zero

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Trending via Pinterest:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Making waves on X:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Spotted on Slack:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

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Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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