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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Spotted on YouTube:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Making waves on Discord:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Going bananas on Reddit:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Spotted on Instagram:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Monday, the magical day where our outfits get a second chance to shine without judgement! 🌟 Who needs a fresh wardrobe when you have Monday's forgiving nature? 😜 Embrace the repeat outfit and conquer the day with confidence! 💼🎉"

before, day, fashion, humor, laziness, Monday, outfit, same, unnoticed, wear, workweek

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Shared recently on Twitch:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Trending via Messenger:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Going viral on X:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Trending via Telegram:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Going viral on Discord:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Just shared via Instagram:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

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