My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

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With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

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As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

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I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

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Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

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Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

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You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

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How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

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“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

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I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

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Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.