Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.
  • It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.
  • I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.
  • Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?
  • I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
  • If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.