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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Going viral on TikTok:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Seen just now on YouTube:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Just landed via Messenger:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Just landed via X:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Just shared via TikTok:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

1 month ago

Humorous text about transitioning from hotel life to parenthood with a playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living with someone who just graduated from Hotel Mama – where the room service is unbeatable and the laundry magically does itself – can make you feel like you've suddenly become a one-person parent club! 🏨🧳🤷‍♀️ #SingleParentStruggles"

adjustment, boyfriend, hotel, Hotel Mama, humor, living, living together, mama, me, moved, parent, relationship, responsibility, single, single parent, straight, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

45 shares on Threads this month:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Going viral on Threads:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Making waves on Twitch:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Going viral on Twitch:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

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