Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.
  • I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.
  • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.
  • Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.
  • With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.
  • Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.