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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Shared recently on Discord:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Spotted on Messenger:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Making waves on WeChat:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

2 months ago

0

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mind of a true homebody! 🏠💭 Leaping into the exciting world outside, only to daydream about cozy blankets and Netflix marathons. 😂 Who needs bustling streets when you have the comfort of your own four walls! 🛋️ #HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs"

anticipation, favorite, favorite part, going, home, house, humor, irony, leaving, looking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

0

2 months ago

conversation, hearing, humor, right, self-reflection, therapist, therapy
Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

0

5 months ago

able, anger, being, drama, flip, flip phone, frustration, humor, miss, nostalgia, phone, shut
I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

0

2 months ago

age, i, place, sit, somewhere, thing, where
They should invent crushes that like you back.

0

2 months ago

back, cru, crush, dating, humor, invent, invention, love, relationship, should, unrequited, unrequited love
ROMO (relief of missing out)

0

2 months ago

anxiety, FOMO, humor, irony, missing, missing out, relief, social, social anxiety
Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

0

2 months ago

across, airport, airport experience, country, experience, flying, Funny, hang, humor, mall, oh, travel, travel humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

39 shares on X this month:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not again. I mean good morning.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Spotted on Instagram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Freshly posted on X:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Going viral on Threads:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Just landed via Telegram:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Live now on Instagram:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

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