Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

16 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Going viral on Reddit:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Going viral on YouTube:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

6 months ago

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that becoming a spider relocation specialist was the key to making new friends? 🕷️🏡 Now your house spiders are networking while your friends are calling exterminators! Talk about social mobility in the arachnid world! 🕸️😄"

catch, change, friend, friends, home, house, humor, i, just, life, life change, nature, outside, pet, release, spider, survive

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

16 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Trending via Twitch:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Going viral on WeChat:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Breaking via Discord:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Trending via X:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Just landed via Discord:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Live now on Twitch:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴