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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Spotted on Telegram:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Trending via Discord:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Going viral on Twitch:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Breaking via YouTube:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Going bananas on Slack:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

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My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.
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Commentary:
Well, who needs a life coach when you've got rejection coming at you left and right? 🤷‍♂️ Looks like even the team didn't want you, but hey, at least you have a great sense of humor to fall back on! 😉 Just think of it as an opportunity to excel in solo sports like napping or Netflix marathons. 🏆 Keep that chin up, champ!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

79 shares on WeChat this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Shared recently on Slack:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Trending via YouTube:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Breaking via X:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Going viral on Discord:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

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