Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"My teen being nice to me is like finding a rare gem 💎 in a minefield of eye rolls and attitude 💁‍♀️💸. I guess kindness isn't always free, especially in the teenage world! 🤑 #TeenagerDilemmas"

being, cost, expensive, family, getting, humor, me, nice, parenting, relationship, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

am, awake, disappointed, disappointment, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, ready, reality
Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

0

2 months ago

called, called off, care, casual, casual wear, day, day off, fat, feeling, feeling fat, jeans, self, self-care, wear, work
I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

0

2 months ago

call, dad, data, forget, funny memory, guy, i, me, memory, middle, middle school, need, never, Obama, phone, school, stop, tell, using, Verizon
Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

0

2 months ago

calling, education, existence, humor, irony, pain, PhD, pleasure, reading, study
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

0

2 months ago

away, escape, escape room, everyone, getaway, humor, just, plans, room, solitude

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

100 shares on Discord this month:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Going viral on X:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Shared recently on X:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨