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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Breaking via Threads:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Making waves on Reddit:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Making waves on Telegram:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Just landed via TikTok:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Trending via Snapchat:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

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Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.
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Commentary:
"Like a social chameleon in a cozy cave 🦎💤 Introverted by nature, but with a secret extroverted side that only comes out for the good stuff 🌟🎉 Just call me a 'selective extrovert' – socializing with purpose and pizzazz! 💃🕺"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

41 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to call in sad to work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Going viral on X:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Freshly posted on X:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Trending via TikTok:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Trending via Reddit:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

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