Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Just landed via Discord:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Going viral on TikTok:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Live now on Messenger:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Making waves on Twitch:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Spotted on Slack:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Making waves on WeChat:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Making waves on X:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Witty text about balancing introversion and extroversion for a humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Like a social chameleon in a cozy cave 🦎💤 Introverted by nature, but with a secret extroverted side that only comes out for the good stuff 🌟🎉 Just call me a 'selective extrovert' – socializing with purpose and pizzazz! 💃🕺"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

84 shares on Threads this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

29 shares on Threads this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Just landed via Threads:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Making waves on X:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Just shared via Threads:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Trending via Reddit:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

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