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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Making waves on Discord:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Trending via Snapchat:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Breaking via Slack:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to capture the beauty of a heart-melting landscape on camera is like trying to hold a handful of sand – it just slips away! 📸💔 #NatureAlwaysWins"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Reported on Discord:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Just landed via X:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Reported on Twitch:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Reported on YouTube:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Just shared via Telegram:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

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