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Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

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I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

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I was dropped as an adult.

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The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

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An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgรคngerbรคnger.

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People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

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Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

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Are you a software update, because not now!

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Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

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Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless joy of transforming an innocent Christmas wrapping tube into a weapon of playful retaliation! ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’ข Who knew that a simple cardboard tube could evoke such mischief and laughter, regardless of age? Watch out, as the battle of the holiday tube warriors commences! ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿคบ Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets bonked on the head with festive spirit! ๐Ÿ˜‰



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