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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Shared recently on Discord:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Just shared via TikTok:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Spotted on WeChat:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Spotted on X:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Making waves on Twitch:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless joy of transforming an innocent Christmas wrapping tube into a weapon of playful retaliation! 🎄💢 Who knew that a simple cardboard tube could evoke such mischief and laughter, regardless of age? Watch out, as the battle of the holiday tube warriors commences! 🎁🤺 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets bonked on the head with festive spirit! 😉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Freshly posted on X:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Trending via Instagram:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Live now on Threads:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Spotted on Instagram:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

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