Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.