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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Trending via Pinterest:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Just shared via Facebook:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Just shared via Reddit:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Going viral on WeChat:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Spotted on Twitch:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on X:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of living beyond our means – because who needs financial stability when you can have fun gadgets and fancy dinners, right? 💸🍾 Just remember, it's all fun and games until the credit card bill arrives! 😅💳 #LivingTheHighLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Live now on Threads:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Reported on Pinterest:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Just landed via YouTube:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Making waves on Threads:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

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