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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Just shared via Threads:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Shared recently on Discord:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Just shared via Slack:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

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Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of living beyond our means – because who needs financial stability when you can have fun gadgets and fancy dinners, right? 💸🍾 Just remember, it's all fun and games until the credit card bill arrives! 😅💳 #LivingTheHighLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

64 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

94 shares on Slack this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Breaking via WeChat:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Just shared via Facebook:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Making waves on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Breaking via Slack:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Trending via Pinterest:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

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