Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!"

act, behavior, birth, birth control, control, course, humor, men, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, beauty, beauty brand, brand, cream, face, face cream, humor, product, size, skincare
Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

0

2 months ago

biter, hug, humor, interaction, joke, me, next, reaction, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, time
Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

0

2 months ago

CVS, excuse, finish, humor, i, late, printing, receipt, sorry, waiting
Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

0

2 months ago

hottest, hottest single, humor, joke, me, music, personality, self-confidence, single, Spotify, year
Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, another, chin, humor, lonely, looks, self-deprecation, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The shitshow must go on.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

55 shares on Messenger this month:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Shared recently on X:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on X:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Spotted on Slack:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨