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Commentary:
"Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!"

act, behavior, birth, birth control, control, course, humor, men, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

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2 months ago

bed, body, early, getting, humor, morning, nonsense, struggle
Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

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2 months ago

cesarean, coming, coming out, event, humor, i, introvert, invitation, invite, me, places, reluctance, social, social event, want
Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

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2 months ago

breakup, dining, disappointment, ever, expectations, experience, food, hard, humor, relationship
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

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2 months ago

away, big, countertops, daily, daily life, home, humor, job, life, moving, parent, parenting, responsibility, safety, things
That fight could’ve been an email.

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2 months ago

communication, email, fight, humor, misunderstanding, work
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

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2 months ago

communication, conversation, hate, humor, i, irony, language, media, misinterpretation, misunderstanding, online, online conversation, only, pancakes, place, sarcasm, say, social, social media, somebody, still, Twitter, waffles, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

30 shares on Slack this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Spotted on YouTube:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Trending via Telegram:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Going viral on Discord:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

That fight could’ve been an email.

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨