Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Spotted on Messenger:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Going viral on Snapchat:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Making waves on Slack:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

2 months ago

0

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when we had to navigate through the treacherous world of elementary school without our trusty hydration, communication, or snack devices 📵🍎 The real survival of the fittest! Just shows that we truly are the resilient generation 💪🏼📚 #ThrowbackThursday #Survivors

bottle, childhood, drop, humor, nostalgia, parents, phone, school, snacks, survival, us, used, water, water bottle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

0

6 months ago

awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

0

2 months ago

best, glad, happiness, health, humor, insurance, joke, laughter, medicine, sucks
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, language, let, nothing, self-awareness, slang
Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

0

2 months ago

fake, fake friend, family, friend, friends, give, humor, irony, lecture, own, parents, scam, sibling, siblings
I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

0

2 months ago

confidence, give, humor, i, me, people, realize, self-acceptance, shit
Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

0

2 months ago

example, humor, left, media, most, prime, social, social media, supervision, Twitter, unsupervised, us, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

26 shares on YouTube this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

35 shares on X this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to placebos.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Spotted on WeChat:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Live now on Instagram:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Just landed via Discord:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Live now on X:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

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