Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though. Posted onMay 25, 2026
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago. Posted onMay 25, 2026
It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead. Posted onMay 25, 2026
“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions. Posted onMay 25, 2026
That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it. Posted onMay 25, 2026
My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one. Posted onMay 25, 2026