Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Shared recently on Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Going viral on Facebook:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Just shared via YouTube:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Just landed via Facebook:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs reality when dreaming is much cozier? 💤😄 #DreamBigButNapHard"

back, bed, dream, dreams, follow, humor, i, motivation, people, procrastination, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

0

2 months ago

almost, anxiety, humor, it is what it is, panic, relatable, stress, vomit
Relationship status: I love my bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, priorities, relationship, sleep, status
I really can’t wait until it all works out.

0

4 months ago

anticipation, humor, i, optimism, patience, wait, waiting, works
Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

0

1 month ago

communication, ever, express, expression, feel, frustrating, frustration, intelligence, intelligent, mind, mouth, smart, speaking, stupid
If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

0

2 months ago

communication, fine, humor, relationship, trouble, warning
The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

best, diarrhea, guy, humor, laughter, medicine, suffering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

59 shares on Discord this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

44 shares on Slack this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Going viral on Facebook:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Spotted on Reddit:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Relationship status: I love my bed.

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨