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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

1 minute ago

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Reported on Reddit:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Seen just now on Discord:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Making waves on Twitch:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Trending via Discord:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Just landed via X:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Making waves on X:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

4 months ago

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous self-proclaimed sex gods! 🙄 Maybe they're hoping for a standing ovation? Or perhaps a trophy for 'Most Creative Use of Ego'? 🏆 Let's just hope they're as skilled in reality as they are in their imagination! 😂"

communication, confidence, God, humor, information, people, relationship, sex, sex god, tell, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

1 minute ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Just shared via Instagram:

What are cats even trying to do?

Seen just now on X:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Shared recently on Messenger:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Trending via YouTube:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Reported on WeChat:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

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