Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Bravery level: quitting your job without a safety net. These folks are living life on the edge, or maybe just really, really hate Mondays. 🤣💼 #NoFear"

backup, before, brave, employment, fear, having, job, jobs, nothing, people, quit, risk, scared, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

0

2 months ago

caterpillar, chomsky, food, humor, hungry, hungry caterpillar, legal, literature, name, names, noam, Noam Chomsky, wordplay
You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

0

2 months ago

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait
We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

0

2 months ago

change, fergalicious, humor, living, society, times
Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

0

2 months ago

almond, eating, food, humor, joke, sarcasm, scam, wood
Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

0

2 months ago

diet, exercise, humor, option, Ozempic, poor, secret, strict, third, too, undisciplined
Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

0

2 months ago

cream, dad, family, guilt, honesty, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kids, me, parenting, rest, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

37 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

15 shares on Slack this month:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Just landed via Messenger:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Just shared via Instagram:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Just landed via Facebook:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Trending via Discord:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Freshly posted on Threads:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Going viral on Threads:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨