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Ah yes, the beauty of aging gracefully – from wanting to know it all to just wanting to nap it all 😴🧓🏼 Who needs all the answers when you've got comfy slippers and a good book? 📚👵🏼 #WisdomWithAge

aging, best, everything, getting, getting older, humor, i, know, knowledge, lessons, life, life lessons, longer, older, self-awareness, thing, want, wisdom

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

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Just shared via LinkedIn:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Going viral on Reddit:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Just landed via Messenger:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

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Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

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People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

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I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

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The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

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Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

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