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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Just shared via Slack:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Making waves on Discord:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Breaking via Threads:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

2 months ago

0

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well… looks like even taxes can be deceitful! 😱🤑 Who knew that your accountant was working behind your back with numbers from another tax return! Time to audit your relationship with taxes and show them who's the true boss! 💔💸 #TaxDrama #CheatingTaxes

cheat, humor, plot, plot twist, ta, tax, twist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, chew, handle, hearing, humor, i, life, most, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, relatable, sound, things
To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

0

2 months ago

30, 30-30, 30-30 rule, after, avoid, balance, burnout, disappear, escape, humor, job, minutes, mountain, quit, relief, retirement, rule, stress, stress relief, work, work life, work-life balance
This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

0

2 months ago

anti-party, empty, empty room, event, gathering, humor, irony, joke, room, social, social event, success
The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

0

2 months ago

boxed, boxed wine, fresh, humor, laugh, lol, note, weeks, wine
When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, attitude, communication, dating, done, girl, hr, humor, relationship, sarcasm, something
Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, blurt, conversation, getting, humor, intro, moment, mother-in-law, point, skip

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Just shared via Facebook:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Spotted on Instagram:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Just landed via Reddit:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Just shared via Telegram:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Just landed via Threads:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

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