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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Trending via TikTok:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Trending via Discord:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

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Problematic bed time gap relationship.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're a night owl dating an early bird, and your relationship is just one big snooze button struggle. 🌙🦉💤☀️🐦"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

31 shares on X this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Spotted on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Going viral on Threads:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Trending via TikTok:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Trending via X:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Just shared via Twitch:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

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