Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.