Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,821

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Trending via Snapchat:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Just landed via X:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Trending via Telegram:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Trending via Pinterest:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Trending via Slack:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Shared recently on X:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hoping for a coconut therapy session! 🥥🙃🍃

change, coconut, counting, falling, falling coconut, getting, humor, issue, issues, personality, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

0

2 months ago

act, afraid, childhood, creatures, ever, family, humor, kids, monsters, parenting, terrifying
Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

0

5 days ago

eyes, gift, gifts, humor, morning, surprise
In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

0

2 months ago

grudge, high, high school, hold, humor, i, mad, most, nostalgia, personality, school, still, voted
There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

0

2 months ago

elected, elected official, election, governance, humor, least, lottery, normal, occasionally, official, only, pick, politics, random, well
Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

0

2 months ago

battery, death, died, frustration, humor, light, low, low battery, me, notifications, phone, technology, tell, times
Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

0

2 months ago

90s, comedy, humor, intrusive, neighbor, sitcom, thought, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

73 shares on Discord this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

18 shares on Twitch this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Going viral on YouTube:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨