Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?
  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.
  • How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?
  • You should be able to call in sad to work.
  • The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.
  • Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.