Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Commentary:
“Ah, the joys of teamwork! Who knew that setting your life on fire could be a joint effort? 🔥👫 Just like Bonnie and Clyde, but with more emotional baggage… and less bank heists. 💔😅”

, , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →
Follow us on X →
Follow us on Facebook →
Follow us on Pinterest →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

    Commentary:
    “Sure, you can be the speaker! Just remember, the key is to talk a lot without really saying anything… Like a politician on double speed! 🗣️💬😄”

  • The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal question of who’s the better singer: the feathered virtuosos or the lyrical masters? 🎶🐦 Perhaps the songbirds have the melody, but the hummingbird definitely has the rhythm! 🎵🐦💃”

  • Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

    Commentary:
    Oh, poor T-Rexes, they just can’t catch a break! 🦖😂 It turns out, it’s not their tiny arms but their lack of a pulse causing the lack of applause. 💀👏 Just imagine a paleontologist arranging a fossilized T-Rex skeleton for an encore. Keep the spirit alive, quite literally! 🦴🎉

  • Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the glamorous world of your 40s where wild Saturday nights have been replaced by cozy bedtimes at a reasonable hour. 🌙 Embrace the beauty of uninterrupted sleep and dream about all the parties you once attended…or not, who has the energy for that anyway? 😄 #PartyAnimalTurnedSleepingBeauty”

  • “New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

    Commentary:
    When someone says “new recipe,” brace yourself for disappointment – it’s basically code for “less bang for your buck.” 🍽️ Less content, worse ingredients – it’s like getting a fancy looking fruitcake only to find out it’s actually made of raisins and regrets. 😆#RecipeForDisaster

  • It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

    Commentary:
    “Talk about taking the stairs to a whole new level! 🚶‍♂️🔋 Escalator: 1, Us: 0 ⚡️ Just when you thought you could take a break… 😅 #PowerCutProblems”