Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.
  • If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.
  • I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.
  • I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
  • Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’
  • Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.