Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

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Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

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Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

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What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

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There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

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I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

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My parents think they know me.

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Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

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Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

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The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

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Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.