Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.