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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending via Facebook:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Seen just now on Discord:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Funny quote about Santa’s modern gift—solar panel instead of coal, playful holiday twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm on the "bright" list this year! 😆🔆🎅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Slack this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

32 shares on Slack this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

34 shares on Discord this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

18 shares on X this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Just landed via Slack:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Trending via X:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Going viral on Pinterest:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Trending via X:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

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