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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm on the "bright" list this year! 😆🔆🎅

Christmas, coal, gift, humor, me, panel, Santa, small, solar, solar panel, technology, woke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Blink if you want me!

0

2 months ago

attraction, blink, communication, date, flirty, humor, me, signal, want
Being weird never goes out of style.

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2 months ago

being, fashion, humor, individuality, never, personality, style, uniqueness, weird
Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

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3 months ago

admin, admin duty, being, duty, fantasy, indiana, Indiana Jones, jones, professor
My wife has the worst taste in men.

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2 months ago

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst
Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

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2 months ago

activity, box, childhood, fresh, fun, fun activity, jump, knees, nostalgia, play, remember, swing, used
Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

0

1 month ago

communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

42 shares on X this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Spotted on WeChat:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Spotted on WeChat:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Trending via Telegram:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Freshly posted on X:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Blink if you want me!

Being weird never goes out of style.

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨