Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

430 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,699

Funny Quotes Topics

17,717

Funny Quotes Images

15,699

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Just shared via Slack:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Just landed via Discord:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Going viral on X:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That sausage really understands how to break hearts and mend souls at the same time! 🥓❤️😇

artery, food, health, humor, indulgence, pleasure, sausage, soul

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

2 months ago

balls, bottled, bottled water, drink, fluoride, gland, health, humor, let, micro, microplastics, pineal, pineal gland, spring, tap, tap water, water
Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

2 months ago

adult, comedy, double, double entendre, entendre, good, hand, humor, innuendo, joke, left, making, masturbation, playful, right, sandwich, sex
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

2 months ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

3 months ago

curse, curse word, family, funny moment, moment, music, play, realization, song, word, words
Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

2 months ago

bed, dominance, ending, humor, lazy, relaxation, show, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

69 shares on X this month:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Spotted on WeChat:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Live now on X:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Live now on X:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨