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Commentary:
Ah, who needs to find love when you can find the perfect rhythm merging into traffic instead? 🚗💨 Forget about slow dancing, slow traffic-picking is where it's at! 😅 #TrafficJamThrills

activity, after, ever, great, humor, jam, picking, relationship, sex, sitting, speed, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

2 months ago

call, dream, humor, meeting, people, self, staring, talking, thing, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, Zoom
I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

1 month ago

forced, getting, great, guarantee, humor, i, marriage, married, relationship, sad, somebody, speech, think
It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

4 months ago

acceptable, communication, cultural, cultural difference, difference, humor, internet, internet slang, language, norm, only, saying, slang, social, social norm, socially, Spanish, speaking, still, texting, unfair
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

1 month ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

1 month ago

attire, costume, dress, expectation, home, humor, inappropriate, job, say, send, should, stormtrooper, suit, want, work, workplace
Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

1 month ago

art, art museum, attraction, compliment, flirty, humor, i, just, museum, romantic, stare, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Spotted on Telegram:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Going viral on YouTube:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

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Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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